Cute Polka Dotted Rainbow Bow Tie Ribbon The Blueberry Star: 2016

Monday, December 26, 2016

Happy Birthday Bry ♥

So today, I'm celebrating the birthday of someone who is special and dear to me.
I've been planning a lot of surprise ideas but I guess some things aren't just enough for someone who means the world to you.

Our history was kinda cute yet complicated. 
He was my high school first love.
► got in a one-sided relationship
►broken up at some point
►became best buds during college.

I think being best friends for years played a huge part. Our friendship is going well and it wasn't awkward despite sharing a past together,  I've seen new sides of him and exposed some of his flaws that was unknown to me. I've never thought that I will come to love him again. For the second time around. It was risky given the fact that our friendship was at stake and I don't have the guts to have my heart broken twice by the same guy. I tried so many times to push him away coz we're up to no good but he stayed. He had seen the ugly side of me and still chose to stay and I think that's what made me more drawn into him.

Saturday, December 24, 2016


To be honest with you guys, I don't know where I'd start with this entry.
I'm losing my will to blog and it took me some time to do this as well. I'm supposed to publish my November entry today but I've decided to skip it.
I will try to continue blogging after this post. I just have to let these all out. 
Guys, I lost my mom last November 7, 2016 and that is one of the most devastating thing that happened in my whole life. :( 
It started with a flu, she wasn't feeling well for a couple of days yet she refused to have her checked at the hospital until my Aunt saw her as is if she's in a "stroke state', that's when they rushed her to UST Hospital's Emergency Room, I hurriedly headed over after work  and saw how yellowish she had become :( Her blood pressure had to be checked every 15 minutes as it was drastically dropping. Coz of her irritated condition, she would often removed her nasal cannula from her nose and would forced us to go home instead. Came next day, she was transferred to Kidney Center for a dialysis but the doctors had to stop as it could cause her death. Di nya daw kakayanin. She was still conscious that time and I was able to talk to her. She was even asking for food coz she haven't eaten properly since she got sick but as per doctor's order, eating is prohibited as it would reflect on her results. I remember her calling us three (me, my sister and brother) when we're waiting outside the room and when we got to her she just kind of stared at us and didn't say anything. I asked her to keep her eyes open and don't sleep. Tinanong pa nya ako kung bakit sabi ko wala lang. I was holding back my tears quietly coz I don't really want her to feel weaker if she see me crying. Since her dialysis had to be stopped, they transfer her to the Ultrasound Department to find out what was blocking around her stomach area. She asked us if we're going home upon seeing the nurses getting her ready but little did she know, she's only being transferred for another test. My dad jokingly replied "oo makakauwi na tayo, magpagaling ka muna". That was the last time we saw her conscious coz after the ultrasound session, she was no longer awake and they had to put her in ICU to stabilize her first before she can proceed with the dialysis again. :( She had gotten worst! It was a heartbreaking sight seeing the doctors cornered her yelling "Asuncion Gising!" just to wake her up yet no actions. She was slowly losing her ability to respond and was comatose. We were all wailing outside the room and the doctors were telling us to prepare ourselves. She was diagnosed with Septic Shock. A disease where an infection can caused multiple organ failure and dropping of blood pressure. It had gotten to a point where my Dad was asked to sign a waver wherein if my mom suffers a heart attack she'll no longer be revive. That's a family decision we all agreed on. Clearly, we don't want to make her suffer more than she already was. So my Dad signed it and we surrounded her in her bed saying our last words for her. I was talking to her the whole time, trying to make her respond, I've been saying "Ma, kung naririnig mo ako, sige nga idilat mo nga yung mata mo". After quite some time, I saw her slowly opening her eyes. Not enough to see us I guess but I know she tried her best. I prayed for a miracle, I thought she's going to be fine. I tried to cheer her more "Ma kaya mo naman pala eh, try mo ulit"!. But nope. No respond. At that very moment, and in that condition I know she's dying. She is obviously on the verge of life and death. I hoped for a miracle despite with the fact that the chances of her survival is poor. She was slowly losing her life at our very own eyes. My Dad said goodbye to her and that was the very first time I saw him cry throughout the day. I know he's been staying strong for so long for us. I told mom, "Ma, kung kaya mo pa try mo lumaban ha, nanjan naman yung mga machine tinutulungan ka kaya tulungan mo din yung sarili mo". I know I have to let her go. I know she needs to. I know she can't fight it anymore. So I told myself that it was really time to say goodbye so I stopped telling her those words and told her "Ma, okay na kami, okay lang mag let go kung hindi mo na talaga kaya. Wag mo na kaming isipin, isipin mo na lang ang sarili mo". "Mahal na mahal ka namin Ma".
She was pronounced dead at 9:17 pm of November 7,2016.

I  hugged my sister, my Dad and my brother as we all mourned for the loss of our dear mom/wife. So many thing happened on that day. It was quick and all of a sudden. We're not prepared in fact, I don't think we'll ever be. To prepare for someone's death ? Do people do that ? My Dad and my sister had to go home as they haven't slept and was physically tired as well while I stayed with my boyfriend to fix the documents needed to get her to the funeral. It was past midnight and everyone was emotionally unstable. Still in hazed, when the funeral picked her up from the hospital. You know it was such a heartbreaking thing seeing your own mother in the morgue and having asked by the funeral staffs, "Paki identify na lang po". Getting her out of that stainless coffin shaped fridge. I couldn't even take a look at her properly and her getting dragged in a cart like she's just a nobody. Di deserve ni mama yan, ibaba nyo sya jan. Parang di naman kase si mama yun. Parang ibang tao. That's what I told myself. After arriving at St. Peter where Kuya Aya was waiting, I hurriedly signed all the contracts and other important documents needed. I tear escaped my eye upon writing my mom's name in the "Name of Deceased". Like no. This is not real. Please wake me up. :(

Saturday, November 5, 2016

October 2016

I know guys. I know I'm already missing out on a lot of entries hahaha! Kinda hard to balance everything with Christmas coming and work eating up most of my time. But better late than never!

So what's up with October passing by in just a blink of an eye. -_-
Di ko ramdam bes.
Anyways, here's what happened last October, (if you're curious hearing what I put up with last month, stay tuned) hahahahaha!

Okay so Imma start na!

I took a half day at work just so I can join my dear family for dinner in celebration of my Dad's birthday ♥ nothing beats family quality time! You know how I'm willing to trade anything just to see them healthy and complete :) I love you Pido,!

now here's a photo of my mom and dad twinning in yellow. 

Wishing for more birthdays and togetherness for our family!

Monday, October 10, 2016

September 2016

A better way to start my September. I swear Amo Yamie is starting to feel like home ! and I'm not in the slightest kidding ! I was mending a broken heart so I rushed here and it did work lol the powers of sweets. Thank you for the comfort food! That's why mama loves you all ♥

and who literally goes out wearing a flat high thigh boots on a hot sunny day just because. -_- 

 Blackmailed a friend just so I won't be alone to celebrate my crying heart once again.

Saturday, September 24, 2016

When People Asked Me: Bakit Single Ka Pa Din?

That one million dollar question: Bakit wala ka pang boyfriend? 

Whenever there's a family gathering there will always be that one Tita/Tito who will ruthlessly ask "Nasan na ang boyfriend mo?" 

Oh noe you didn't just say that.

Tita, my dearest Tita, bata pa ako. 

Saturday, September 17, 2016

Ingrid Michaelson "Can't Help Falling in Love"

I know I say this a lot, but this song right here is my all time favorite !
I lost count on how many times this song has been revived and covered but Ingrid Michaelson's rendition is by far my most favored rendition. It's also used from the movie "Like Crazy", I really really want to have this song played on my wedding day and have a slow-dance with my husband. But really dear future husband, if you happen to be reading this, do take notes hihihi :DD

I'm also currently loving Kenzie Nimmo and Harris Heller's cover! not to mention the chemistry between these two. Nakakainggit -___-

♪♫Wise men say
Only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you
Shall I stay?
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you?♪♫


Wednesday, September 14, 2016

August 2016

Hey guys! Look who's back ! :)
I made July and August a failure coz I was heck inactive. I'm sorry for not keeping up with my promise T^T believe it or not and I know I'd sound like I'm making this up, but my computer broke so I can't blog for a month. Yes! and I just had it fixed the other day. I will no longer make a promise to be active, but I assume I'll be one now that everything is back to normal, my computer and *ehem* my life. I can once again locked myself up in the room and blog.

So what exactly happened this August ?
Well if I were to conclude, I got quite busy with something else and that pretty much sums up my whole August. My heart and soul were so preoccupied to the point that I forgot who I really was. Good thing it was over and I'm now as free as a honeybee!

Starting off with the newest addition to the Lacra Clan, my nephew Dwayne's Christening!

And my cousin even made me as a Godmother and now I gotta act one!
Sorry Dwayne you got a poor Tita-ninang xD

Sunday, September 11, 2016

Quick Blog Post: You Failed

I was half serious and half joking that night when I asked you.
I was only testing you out and apparently you failed.
In the end, you gave up. 

You gave me up.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

Hi Love

Hi Love,

Strange isn't it ? How just last night we were talking about our road trips and even future plans like we're gonna make it.
Like this is something that will last.
Like this is something worth investing for.

But it is what it is.
We have to accept the fact that some things are not really meant to happen
And that includes you and me.
It was a rough start but I believed that this is something that could make me whole and complete.
I stayed despite what these odds are telling me.
That this is utter bullshit and that nothing good will ever come out.
But know that I stayed. Know that I tried.
That I thought about us being together.
Being happy.

Thursday, August 4, 2016

July 2016

First of all, I want to apologize for being a lazy blogger last July with only 2 entries. :( no more reasons and excuses, I just procrastinated. I'm having a hard time balancing both huhuhu.. 

Either way, I will be blogging about it so please stay with me till the end ? Wala na kasing nagstay sakin eh lahat na lang sila umalis. :(( #Kems #PeroBakaTotoo

Anyway, if you're probably thinking if I had spent my July spending money on food, well, you're a hundred percent right!

Proof of purchases lol (see photos below)

That medyo planadong gala.

Sunday, July 24, 2016

HS Reunion 071616

Me, my friends and classmates decided to have our own mini reunion!
It's been 5 years or more since the last time we saw each other's faces.
I, myself was shocked to see them all looking so much better, not just in terms of looks, but also in their personalities and how professional/career-wise they had become. 

Five years sure do some realist ish hahahaha!

It was originally planned for only a week, we made our own group chat and checked my classmates' availability, which is the hardest part obviously. But after all the tampuhan, the arguments. the killjoys, we pushed through. :)

and if there's one thing that hasn't changed, it would be the punctuality, call time is 3pm, everyone arrived at 5 and some at 7 pm -_- really though, 

Friday, July 1, 2016

June 2016

I can't believe we're over the first half of 2016 !! Time flies so damn fast. 

Saturday, June 25, 2016

One Direction "If I Could Fly"

This song is dedicated to my friend who moves to a city, a city where I can no longer reach for it's a million miles away. That friend is someone close to me, a very close one and this is my first time to experience such a heartbreaking goodbye. It was more heartbreaking than most of my breakups combined. 

If I could fly
I'd be coming right back home to you
I think I might give up everything
Just ask me to
Pay attention
I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless

For your eyes only
I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely and forget who you are
I'm missing half of me when we're apart
Now you know me
For your eyes only♪

I miss you Darling. :(
and it's so distressing that missing you won't bring you back.


Thursday, June 23, 2016

100th Blog Post + Quick Life Update

I never thought I would reach this but yes I did! and this ladies and gents is my 100th post! Hold right there coz Imma give myself a quick tap on my shoulder!

It took me quite a while and for you it may be shallow but guuuurl, I have to tell you how happy I am for doing so. And I consider this as an achievement.
I started blogging way back 2014, and I barely have something to blog about and trust me, up to this day it still concerns me for some reasons. There were those times, where I almost gave up on blogging because of these things:

"Does this blog makes sense"?
"Do I make sense"
Do I even have consistent readers"?
"Do people actually take their time to check on m blog"?
"Isn't this interesting enough"?
"Do my contents bore the heck out of you"?
"Is this worth reading"?
"Do I suck at blogging"?
and the like.

Wednesday, June 15, 2016

Amo Yamie Part: 2

The best way to get away from the hassle of work ? Eat some sweets! And that's what me and my brother did. Lashed out my whole allowance to satisfy our sweet tooth. 

Amo Yamie is one of the famous themed restaurants in Manila especially for college students. They sell all these artsy named-frappes, coffee and various kinds of meryenda for a reasonable price! It's also known for its quirky and cute bahay-bahayan (crib) style which you can really enjoy if you're a child at heart.

I didn't know Amo Yamie have a branch close to my home (near UST!)
I saved some landmarks and even a map for the clueless/no sense of direction me before leaving home. But never used it coz' our feet sort of took us there with no difficulties! T^T It was my second time eating here, but first time to visit their EspaÑa branch. I took my brother with me coz he's never tried out any cutesy cafe before and I know he will love Amo Yamie's interior. 

Thursday, June 2, 2016

May 2016

Goodbye May! You've been so stressful in terms of work, good thing I managed to pull myself together nevertheless, I'm still in the battle of adjusting to almost everything which is going well (?)

Well anyway !

May is also the month for Mother's Day. And as a newbie in the working industry and trying to earn that 9-5, I know I got to do something about it.
I surprised her with a cake. A simple gesture, if you say but I'm only getting started in my career and I'm nowhere near my actual goal, so this will do for now. :)

I saw my momma smiled ear to ear the moment she saw me walking towards her with a cake box on my left hand. She knew it was for her and as I expected she liked it! We had a mini celebration, I found out that she cooked some dishes for that day.

Everyone laughed when they saw "Atunton" written on the cake! I've been calling her that for years now hahaha! It's originated from her name Asuncion. lol Trivia ni mama.
 A 2-layered just because it's so kawaii!

Friday, May 27, 2016

My New Found Love

I hope I'm not the only one going gaga over matcha.

Matcha is a fast rising flavor here in my country, starting from milk teas, ice cream to bread. you can pretty much see every food in matcha flavored already. Coz why not? It's such a fantastic flavor.
 Matcha = green tea powder. What a healthy flavor.

I, on the other hand is subconsciously eating everything that is matcha flavored for almost a week
No regrets guys!!No regrets!!

It all started with a quick shopping.
I may be living under the rock but since when did we have matcha Kitkats here in Ph ????

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

That One Time I Took A Cab With A Stranger

As the title suggests, yes, I did took a cab on my way home with a stranger. 
I was heading home from a night out with my friends, Approximately around 1 am.
And to tell you, I don't feel safe here in my country anymore and yes I'm a bit paranoid. I become aware of my surroundings more than I should especially when commuting, I make sure everyone in the jeepney looks decent and not suspicious. I always hug my bag tightly. I'm at that point. 

I experienced sitting beside this guy in the jeep, probably around his teens, he was one by one asking us for money.  No one paid attention to him so he started shouting and threatening us. It was scary!!! 
I was thinking that what if he had some weapons and went ballistic! Given the fact that I was just beside him, and I got all my important things in my bag T^T Good thing I got off that jeep and made my little escape, I was shaking when I reached home.
and that's probably one out of the many horrendous jeepney experinces that I've ever had. 

Saturday, May 14, 2016


Why people are so afraid to lower or forget their pride ?
Why some people don't just straight up admit their mistakes ?
Why make it hard for everyone when you can just apologize ?

I still don't get it.
Enlighten me. 

Why do you have to lie ?
Do you think we can't understand ?
Have you ever thought about the people you got involved in this? 
I bet not.

Because you're too busy thinking about yourself.
I thought I had you all figured out.
But you turned out to be the opposite.
The person who's real side is unknown.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Aurora "Winter Bird"

I found this song through the trailer of the movie "Equals"which I'm dying to watch !!
I might treat myself in cinema just to see this movie :)) 
I fell in love the first time I heard it, it's just so emo and sad and makes me feel lonely and kind of hmm what's the term ? ahh it makes me remember the not so good old times hahaha! 

Nonetheless, if you're feeling the same, you should listen to this...

♪♫All I need is to remember

How it was to feel alive

I need to remember

How it was to feel alive♫♪


Tuesday, May 10, 2016

A Letter To My Late Dog :(

This letter is dedicated to my late dog, Billy.

Hello baby!
How are you up there ? 
Me and our fam is missing you so so so much. :(
I hope you're happy now. 
I hope you're healthy now and free from any disease.

I'm sorry for being incapable of taking care of you.
You lived a couple of floors away from us so we don't see that much often.
and I do regret not paying you a visit. 

To be honest, it's still breaking my heart. </3
Boy it's been a month since you were gone and I thought I've already moved on.
I blame myself for not paying you a visit even after knowing you're getting weaker by the day.
You're the very first dog that I called mine.
Eight years with us, damn. 
How I wish can turn back the time and be by your side :'(
I'm a useless owner.
I cared but didn't do anything.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

April 2016

It's that time again ! Here I go again with my monthly entry. Apologies for the 2 entries for April :( I myself is still confuse on how to balance my time in blogging and work.

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Why I Started Blogging ?

I've always wanted to make an entry about this. As what I stated in my "About Me'' section, my interest in blogging sparked because of Kaila Ocampo, the founder of Kawaii Philippines. Why ? a few years ago, I came across her personal blog The Rainbowholic Me. It's about her achieving her dream life in Japan and now she walks the streets like she owns it ! :) She blogs about her travels, DIY's, fashion, inspiring stories, words of wisdom and even her personal matters too! To make it short.,I got inspired by her. Japan, ughhh how many times should I say this... I've always been in love with you..Since I was young. Japan has something that other countries don't have. It's like a different world with fascinating stuffs. 

Monday, April 11, 2016

March 2016

March started with a fun-filled gathering with my relatives from my father side :) My Titas' and cousins are so cool ! Like what I have said from my previous posts, never a dull moment! We spend the night at my cousin's new house in Lancaster! What an amazing trip over all and I must confess how proud I am of myself because I was able to navigate with just my brother on our way home T^T *slow claps*  galing mo Grasya !

Thank you Kuya B.A. and Ate Jenny for being so accommodating and yung unli supply ng food jusko nakakamiss hahaha! Till next time !

Sunday, March 13, 2016

Gilbert O'Sullivan "Alone Again (Naturally)"

These days, I've been listening to 70's-80's music ♥ and this one became my fave the moment the song started. It's such a deep and emotional song also, it reminds me how I should appreciate and respect my beloved parents. Such a sad song about being alone getting used to it. Nevertheless, I think this is one of the most beautiful songs ever created. Classic!

♪♫In a little while from now
If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself
And visit a nearby tower
And climbing to the top
Will throw myself off
In an effort to
Make it clear to whoever
Wants to know what it's like when you're shattered♪♫


Friday, March 11, 2016

February 2016

February was a busy month for me, I just got back from our trip on the second week and it was a blast. However, going back to Manila was quite disappointing (?) I don't know but it felt like a huge responsibility awaits me. Sure it is because this is where I'll be spending my life for heck lot of years.

Anyways, so aside from my vacation, February is also the month of hearts which I clearly don't care about and as you all know, my lazy ass is single, whoops but not ready for commitment or anything ha ! I really don't like going out on V-Day because you know I'm just gonna blind my eyes from all those cheesy couples, that is why I prefer staying at home.

Unfortunately, I was forced to run an errand for my mom to buy a freaking spaghetti sauce on that one particular day. I was like "nope" at first but still went on anyway. -_- besides who loves home cooked spaghetti on Valentine's ? It would be like a date with my fam hahaha ! So, I went to the mall it was a lot crowded and hell I wasn't wrong. Cute and adorable couples were everywhere, and most of them had prepared some surprise events omg. I couldn't even get through without squeezing my body against them. TTuTT. I was like "Damn you spaghetti sauce"//

Oh well. Atleast we got all these flowers from Vday ! Because let's be honest, no matter how single your ass is, and no matter how bitter you are on this day  especially me, you still love it when someone gives you flowers and chocolates right ? I ain't happy, I feel like a beauty queen  hahaha!
And speaking of being single, I truly am incredibly grateful to everyone who's setting me up for dates, I really am glad that you're concern about me but as of now, I don't want to have anything to do with a guy. I'm not looking for love, I want love to find me. JK! yeah but in all honesty, I know that this will prolly change and I'm not definitely closing my doors. Maybe I just need more "me-time".

Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Iloilo Part 3: Damires Hills + Suhot Spring

Would you believe that? We've reached the third and last part of my Iloilo trip. This is the most exciting and adventure filled one out of all so expect one heck of a lengthy post ! So shall we start ?
First destination: Damires Hills located at Brgy. Damires, Janiuay Iloilo.
 It's a resort where you can also experience nature getaway adventures.
 Reception Area, we paid 100/head a lot cheaper since we're only doing a day tour.

 We wandered around the area and of course photo sesh !

 Green green grass of home ♥
 My pretty Tita killing it with the shades!
 Mom and Tita :)
Adventure started here. My fam decided to try the hanging bridge lol I don't know how to feel about that ;____; We hiked the mountain to get into the hanging bridge.

Saturday, February 27, 2016

Iloilo Part 2: Dumangas Coast

Here is my second part from my Iloilo trip. Took me a while to draft this coz I got hooked watching some movies from my computer! Anyhow, I missed having early mornings in the province, I got used to waking up around 6 or 7 am. Would you believe that ? hahaha ! If I can't be found in the house you would probably see me in the tiny house outside home where you can rest peacefully and quietly, and where you can get the nicest view of the green fields and the adorable cows TTuTT

Here's a photo of my cup that I bought during my stay there and took it home with me as a remembrance. :) This is one of the days where I just admire the view while drinking coffee. Also one of my fave things to do here, where my mind is clear and I don't have to think of the problems for a while.
 We're going to Dumangas Coast today!

Hopped in the car and we're good to go!
This view <3

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Future Letter to the 30 Year Old Me

Letter to a 30 year old me,

First and foremost, I badly wanna ask you this question. Did you finally had the guts to decide on whether you're gonna remain single or enter a relationship/marry? If you already have a partner then good for you. Are you going along with him ? Does he treat you right? Or are you guys even married ? Did you get the kind of wedding you've been dreaming of? Or did you get married because a baby is just a months away ? I wanna ask you these questions because your past wasn't a good one to remember. It left you scarred and at some point stopped you from loving anyone.