Tuesday, April 18, 2023
Want to hear a "Clowning Moment"?
Let me take you into yet another glimpse at my horrible dating history.
Once upon a time, a couple of mistakes ago, I dated this dude and we never once got the idea that dating each other is a possibility. Until we tried it.
It worked for a while and I got to know the real him down the line. In general, he's a good man. He is big on making sure I get home safe. Always looking out for me. Pretty laid back, and chill.
WAY TOO CHILL to the point that he won't give me a call/text the next day after hanging out with me. He could leave my messages on read for hours before getting a response. He would only text me when he likes or if he remembers I exist. Favorite ko talaga kapag di sya nagrereply kahit nabasa nya na chat ko shet
And trust me, I wore my "understanding girlfriend" uniform. All the damn time coz I knew he had things to do. Errands to run. Life to live. But we rarely hang out together and I consider myself lucky if I'm able to see him once a month! He'd be happy making plans with God knows who while I have to beg for a date!! Imagine my dilemma! Wanting to see the man I like, and him not being able to set aside time fucking hurts my kokoro! I'd be so hyped and excited whenever he sets a day for us to meet only to bail last minute. It's always me who would initiate a date, and his go-to answer is "we'll see" putanginang yan
I'm not even about grand gestures, like fancy restaurant dates, or a bouquet of flowers. But what he's giving me is nothing but the bare minimum. Actually, BELOW MINIMUM. Which I did not realize yet (at that time) since I was so caught up in the idea of us. One little text and I was again caught in his trap like a stupid fly in a spider's web.
Best part? he was sooo unromantic. Not even a single sweet gesture. LIKE LITERALLY NOTHING. He's not clingy and he hated cuddles too! Hugs? better save it for my next lifetime lol. The dude couldn't even communicate his feelings properly, like wtf? Then what am I even here for?
Perhaps physical touch wasn't really just his thing or he just didn't like me enough. I'd say the latter.
HE WAS SUCH A RED FLAG. But I was this flag pole, willing to take him in. obob
I'm scared of clowns but never thought I'd turn myself into one lol
Throughout the course of our relationship, I was anxious. Afraid to do something that could make him break up with me, so I carefully tiptoed my way.
MY WAY OUT OF THAT FUCKING RELATIONSHIP. Despite me wanting to save us, I couldn't stand the way I was being treated. But it wasn't an easy thing to do. I even fought with my friends because I'd justify his shitty actions. Until I, myself realized that this was not what I signed up for. My feelings, efforts, and affection were not reciprocated. I felt disposable and not worthy. Sure I was hurt but I'd be damned if I stayed any longer. It was just a big ball of complications and confusion about where I really stood. Was I really not worth it? What's the point of being in a relationship if the other person is unwilling to commit???
But honestly, it was a love I would've loved to keep. This relationship got me thinking of marriage. If you know me personally, you know that that's the last thing on my mind. It's not even a priority. Eh kaso pano ka ikakasal bhe di ka nga kinikita kingina
Or maybe because I was under his hook the truth blinded me hehe either way, I just thought that maybe we were onto something serious. At least for me, it was.
But that's life, we make mistakes and we learn from them. Ganun naman talaga, di ka in love kapag di ka tanga.
I've learned that if someone genuinely likes you, it will be apparent and you'll know. You just do. No matter what zodiac sign they have or personality, if he's into you, he will show it. You will not have to beg for a date. You will not be left on read. He will do something about it.
And girls, don't be stupid like me. I loved people who did not like me enough and legit ignored all the hints that were already slapping me hard in the face, Eh kung iba na lang sanang slap charot
In short, wag marupok! Don't be okay with people treating you like shit when all you have are good intentions.
I saw a post that goes something like "you did so much for the wrong person, imagine what you can do for the right one".
NOT. A. GODDAMN. THING.
I'm way too traumatized for that shit.
Love your boo, kill him if he cheats hehe
Sayonara bitches✌
xoxo
Grace
Tuesday, April 4, 2023
April is here, now I could joke about getting myself a man for April Fools but we all know my love life is already a big ass joke as it is so better to skip that one for now. 🤡
Not a lot went on for March just me switching jobs and starting a new one. I prayed so hard and waited patiently for this job to be a reality and I'm just so stoked to be here😭. Still have some sepanx for my previous company since I made incredible friends but this job is something I've been waiting to hear back about for months lol A little sacrifice for your own growth wouldn't hurt!
So going back to our monthly blog entry.
I met up with my friends/former colleagues! It's been over a year since we all gathered like this. We had lunch at 102 Izakaya and then stayed at UCC Park Cafe. To cap off our night, we went to Rock Star KTV where we sang K-pop songs while having alcohol, ofc!
and we had our photo taken at a photo booth.💖
On the 2nd week of March, met another set of friends namely, the Virgins/ my musically inclined friends! nvm the name we just like talking about grown-up stuff if not, music. Bill rented this Tarpauline Swimming Pool and had it set up at their house. A quick dip to escape the summer heat. We had grilled pork liempo, scallops, buttered shrimp, oysters, chicken wings and of course, you guessed it right, SOJU!!! Pitched a tent too! Then spent the next morning doing karaoke and playing the ukulele.
Another quick gala with yet another set of friends lol my social energy might be running out at this point but I just missed them. Videocall isn't just enough. Got some desserts at The French Baker where we sat and talked through some life updates. The usual bardagulan !
More weekend gala:
I've been frequently visiting a local cafe in our area, "Bijou" that they gave me a loyalty card haha! Try their Pesto and Salted Caramel Milk Tea with 50% sugar. They're so good. Also got to try Pick Up Coffee's Matcha Latte, a bit sweet for my liking but not that bad. I've tasted worse. Oh and Doppio's Matcha is bomb. Never expected it to be THAT good. You can actually taste the green tea in it. Got to eat Chicken Quesadilla again from El Poco at Taft. Yaaaaay!
With all the eating I've been doing, it's no surprise I'm gaining weight again. YES! Sadly I need to go back to my green tea era and one meal a day.
Lastly, my bestie, Gail has been sending me these Red Velvet cookies. It's not yet up for sale so she's been mailing her "reject" batches over to me. Idk how she calls it still "not perfect" when this is already winning me over. Probably a baker's thing. I'm so sorry, White Chocolate Oatmeal, I may have found my new favorite. Better watch out guys. THIS IS GOOD.
On the other note, thank you for trusting my taste buds!!! my tummy is happy lol
Now going onto my Netflix Department:
I was sooo productive. Watched "Murdaugh Murders: A Southern Scandal" a true crime documentary that revolves around a very influential, and prominent family in South Carolina.
