Letting go of a friend is hard. Especially when you’ve been friends for years. But sometimes, holding on does more harm than good. And I’ve finally reached the point where I had to choose peace over history.
I’m not a perfect friend; just like you, I have my flaws. I’ve said and done things I regret, too. I’m not here to pretend I was always right. But even with all that, I know when enough is enough. And this... this was too much.
We were close. We shared laughs, secrets, and memories. But somewhere along the way, things changed or maybe I just started seeing things for what they really were.
She became the kind of friend who always picked her kalandian over us. Every time we made plans, she’d plan another meet-up with God knows who, leaving us. We’d invite her to hang out, but she’d make up excuses or lie straight to our faces. It was like we didn’t matter unless she had no one else.
Whenever we tried to talk to her about how we felt, she’d act like we were attacking her. She never listened. She never changed. She never grew. It’s been years, but it feels like she’s still the same person, still full of excuses, still acting like the victim, still being toxic. And when she didn’t get her way, she’d act cold or try to guilt-trip us. That’s manipulation, and I’m done pretending it’s not.
We all tolerated her for the sake of the friendship, of course. But there’s only so much we can take before it all becomes too much.
I remember one argument with her that really opened my eyes.
She got upset because I couldn’t join our friend group’s trip—I had to take care of my dad at the time. I explained it gently, hoping she’d understand. But instead of showing support, she got even more upset when I mentioned I might be able to join another trip with a different group the following month.
She threw hurtful words at me:
“Bakit sasama ka sa kanila, tapos sa’min hindi?”
“Grabe ka naman nun, Grace.”
It felt so unfair.
So I finally said it bluntly:
“Was it really so hard to believe that my dad might get better by then, and I could finally have the space to join those other plans? ”
It hurt to realize that someone I called a friend couldn’t even understand that I was going through something deeply personal. That my family came first. In that moment, it became clear her world revolved around herself.
I kept hoping she’d grow up. That she’d finally see how her actions were hurting the people who cared about her. But I waited too long. Nothing changed.
So I’m walking away.
Not because I don’t care, but because I care about myself more now.
It hurts, yes. But it also feels like a breath of fresh air.
It was hard letting go of a friend I once treasured, someone who was a big part of my life. But I’m also at a point where I’m getting older, and I’d rather choose peace than keep tolerating the same toxic behavior over and over again.
I don’t hate you. I still wish you well and hope you make it in life. I just can’t offer you a seat at my table anymore, not after everything.
To anyone going through something similar: you’re allowed to let go.
You’re allowed to outgrow people. You don’t have to keep holding on just because you’ve known someone for years.
I choose peace now. And that’s more than enough.
Grasya
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