Hi kids, and to everyone new here or just casually snooping.

Since we're starting 2026, I just thought I should reintroduce myself. 

I’m Grace, 31, from Taguig. I’ve been blogging since 2014, and this space is basically my digital diary. I mostly write monthly recaps where I dump my top songs, things I watched, and whatever the hell I was up to that month. Sometimes I also write about my running era, my dating life (I have no one lol), or anything I feel like oversharing at the moment. 

-- now onto our January blog --

I thought grief would feel lighter over time, but it's not. I found myself talking to my aunt's portrait whenever we're alone. It makes me feel better somehow. I know she's watching us, and she's probably even beside me right now as I type this lol Tita don't scare me, you know naman! I know I will get through this. I just need some more time. I miss you, Madam! 

On days when I feel better, I would try to go out with friends. Honestly, I have been bedrotting ever since she passed. I didn't feel like going out, but I do miss being outside. 

I finally met up with Rey again! We’re officially back to working together, and honestly, despite everything I’ve been going through lately, this new job is the one thing that’s been giving me genuine happiness. I didn’t even get the chance to celebrate it properly, but this moment felt like one in itself! 

We had some fancy high tea experience at Conrad. I love it sm!

Then we had a sponty sunset cruise at MoA. It was already past 7pm, so it's dark, but it's still a fun experience. It helped me take my mind off of things for a while.

Kids, we love your Tita Rey. She will be our go-to person if I can no longer help you with your 4th grade math homework hehe

Went on a solo date. I ate some good Japanese food at DonDonTei! I spoiled myself with a new pink ukulele that would probably just end up as decoration since the quality isn't giving lol it made me happy though!!!

I also celebrated your dear Tito Vien's birthday. We tried bowling this time. It was so tiring, I went home with my arms numb!!! 

Lastly, there was the Circus Music Festival. I missed the feeling of attending stuff like this! I have never felt more alive. 

 Full blog post coming soon! 

I attended my last meeting with my former company. I'm gonna miss everyone!! Being under the Deals team made me feel so loved, supported and well taken care of. You all made working so tolerable. I'm going to miss doing the training, too but I feel like it's also the perfect time for me to leave. I have learned so many things working there for almost 3 years and I'm thankful for the opportunities. Bye KW family! It's been one heck of a ride. 

Few snaps from my camera roll

- my dear coworker, sent me this box of brownies as a despedida treat! ilsym ate Grace!

- finally started my 1,000-piece puzzle

- random food order while blasting Chappell Roan

- the said ukulele -_-

- Latte ASMR to help me sleep

- me and my caesar salad obsession

Matcha Adventures!

- matcha spanish latte from Tokyo Matcha (less sugar is so good!)

- matcha latte from DonDonTei (hmm it's okay ig)

- matcha drink from Tealive (it was bad but the palpitations were thrilling lol I forgot the name but it had some pink pearls in it, which I find cute!)

- matcha latte from 180 Cafe (too sweet; didn't even taste the matcha at all)

- matcha latte from Bittersweet Cafe (a bit bland)

-

Netflix Department

The first crime docu was called "Kidnapped: Elizabeth Smart" . It was so scary; I couldn't imagine what I would've done if I were in her situation! :(

Top Song From This Month

1.) Cosmic - Red Velvet (the bridge of this song is sooo bewitching!)

2.) Spaghetti - Le Sserafim (goodass workout song)

3.) Honey - Taylor Swift ("you can call me honey if you want" aaaaaaah)

4.) I'll Still Have Me - Cyn (current crashout song)

5.) Ang Awit Natin - Janine Tenoso (takes me back to 2019 T^T)

It’s strange because some days I want to go out and be around people, and other days I feel a sudden urge to shut myself off from everyone. I think a big part of this comes from grief. It takes a toll on me every time. Losing so many people in my life, I sometimes wonder if I should be numb by now, but it still hurts just as much.

I know I’ll come around eventually. I know I’ll be okay.

Lately, I've been watching ASMR to help me get to sleep because it is so hard to sleep. These days, my mind is just full of thoughts; I wish I could shut them off like a switch. But ever since I started watching it before bed, my sleep has improved so much. I can get at least 6-8 hours a day. I used to find this stuff cringe, but it's so damn therapeutic! 

My darling, Feli recommended Latte ASMR to me. She's so good, she even calms my anxiety!

Here's to healing and being okay with things that are beyond my control. 

See you on my next blog!

***DRAFT FROM LAST YEAR*** 

----------------------------------------

This is so not on my 2025 vision board.

USO PA PALA ANG FRIENDZONE??????????

AT MY BIG AGE OF 30?? 

WHAT THE HELL, MAN?

As if situationships and hookup culture aren't already fucking us up, we're going back to the old days—FRIENDZONE. Honestly, I have not heard that word in a while. THAT WAS SO HIGH SCHOOL!

I'm so bitter. I'm sorry lol

Soo for some backstory. I met this guy on Tinder (ahh she's on a dating app!!!!- God forbid a girl tries to date, SUE ME!!!) He's from another country, and the one thing that we have in common is our love for pop music, specifically Taylor Swift. And if you knew me personally, you would know just how much that woman raised me. 

He isn't just a Love Story-level fan; he's the preorder-the-new-album kind of fan, so you knew he wasn't kidding and wasn't saying it to impress the womenfolk. He even went to the Era's Tour ffs. 

I enjoyed talking to him because he is witty, funny (not funnier than me, though, but could work), an amazing conversationalist (or so I thought). We would talk consistently for a week—and ladies, I swear, you better enjoy the first week of talking to every guy you meet because that's their peak. They'll switch up faster than the speed of light!

Just after a week of talking. He suddenly disappeared on me. 

Out of thin air. 

It took me by surprise because I thought we were on the same page. Like getting to know each other and shit. Turns out it was just me and my imagination, but I do not fully trust men I meet on dating apps, so I went ahead with my life. Being on a dating app taught me just how afraid men are of commitment. 

IMMA SAY THIS WITH ALL THE SINCERITY LEFT IN MY HEART

GET. OFF. THE. FUCKING. APP.

y'all be forgetting it's still a DATING APP

Long story short, yo girl got ghosted (for the gazzilionth time), and I hate how normalized this has become. I may be used to it, but I'd be lying if I said I don't get into a self-questioning phase. 

Just like any other day, I proceeded to live my life. I went on trips with friends; I was busy training for fun runs. It kept me occupied.

But just after a month, he reached out.

Now you ask, "Why do you still reply?"

In the middle of one of our usual two‑minute conversations, he said we should be friends because we weren’t in a romantic zone or whatever. I stared at my phone for a solid minute, just trying to let it sink in, then played it cool like nothing happened.

But for the record, there was flirting. There was teasing. I just didn’t know he had already checked out.

Hi kids, it's Mom!

So to keep you in the loop, there's a trend circulating online, like a major throwback to 2016, which was such a loud, vibrant, and festive year. All photos uploaded were in VSCO filters. It was the era of winged eyeliners, messy buns, and chokers. Chainsmokers and EDM ruled the charts. 

This is me hopping on the trend. 

• I was 21 then. Fresh out of college and completely lost. I spent months unemployed, drowning in pressure and uncertainty. Eventually, I landed my first job as an RMA at a retail store, and that’s where adulthood really hit. Customer service taught me one hard truth: customers are not always right. Returned items, complaints, getting yelled at, being threatened with lawsuits, and publicly shamed somehow became part of my daily routine. The first few months were brutal. I remember crying in the stockroom after a customer shouted at me in front of everyone. Over time, though, I learned to toughen up. I had no choice.

• 2016 is also the year where I fell in love with everything matcha. a Matcha Milk Tea, Matcha Latte, Matcha Kitkat etc. I used to have a series here in my blog called "Matcha Adventures"! We came a loooong way. Matcha has become so popular nowadays but can I just say that your mom is so niche she loved it before it blew up lol #imcool

• It's also the year of chokers, ombre, and bleached hair and YES - I gave in to all of it lol. Now I'm paying the price of it all. To the father of my kids, please hurry tf up before I lose all my hair. 

• I was also busy curating my Instagram feed. Kids, back in the day—we didn't have the story features, so everything you wanted to post could be seen in your feed. I used different types of filters throughout; it was so much fun. Now, the less you post, the cooler you’re perceived to be, and honestly… that’s kind of sad.

• That year, I also went on my first plane ride to my mom’s hometown, Iloilo. We toured Dumangas Coast and parts of Capiz. I saw the house where my lola gave birth to her. It felt like discovering a part of my mother I had never fully known before - her roots, her story. I want to go back so badly. I miss the quiet, the simplicity, and the province life.

• But above everything else, 2016 is the year I lost my mom. The woman who taught me to always believe in myself and trust my capabilities. Nobody said shit but we all knew and felt the shift within our family. The house just didn't feel right and complete. Holidays and birthdays didn't seem festive anymore. Nevertheless, I'm grateful that the 4 of us left stuck together to fill the void she left. I love my family so much. I missed you, Atunton!!

2016 is both a nightmare and a year of becoming. I was learning how to be an adult, working, grieving, holding my family together, and still trying to live and enjoy life, all at 21. It was a lot!

Looking back now, after more loss and more grief, 

I’m still here.

I'M ONE HELL OF A STRONG WOMAN! 

(but like against my will)

BUT HERE I AM!

(coz I got no choice, really)

2026—I'm checking out of you;, it's just January but I'm sooo done! 

I srsly have no hopes left in me lol 

2027 will be my year.... Gosh, give this one to me. 

xoxo

Grasya

I grew up watching my aunt support their family. While my dad (her brother) moved to Manila to study and eventually build his own family, she stayed behind, suddenly responsible for eight mouths to feed. One by one, her siblings grew up, got married, and moved on with their lives. And in what felt like a blink of an eye, she was left once again—this time caring only for her mother (Mamay) and father (Papa), my grandparents.

In reality, she never got to marry or have children. She spent her entire life giving, sacrificing, and always putting her family’s needs before her own. In today’s world, not having a husband or kids can be seen as a privilege, but in her case, and I know this deep down, she would have loved to be a wife too. She just never got her chance. 

A chance to start a life of her own.

One day, almost casually, I asked her if she thought she would’ve gotten married had she not been weighed down by so many responsibilities. Without hesitation, she said, “Yes.” Then she quickly followed it with, “But I don’t regret it,” as if she were trying so carefully not to feel sorry for herself.  That's why when Mamay (my grandma), the only parent she had left, passed in 2021, I lowkey thought she could finally have the chance to live her life. To spend her money not paying bills, not caregiving anyone, on nothing at all. We just wanted her to enjoy it. 

When I was a kid, she was the kind of woman I aspired to be (aside from my mom obvi) because out of all the siblings, she was the smartest; she had a degree, a career, and a breadwinner. An all-in-one package. I remember her visiting us in Manila during my first job, cheering me on and offering career advice. It felt nice and different to hear it from someone who wasn’t my parents.

It was 2019 when we moved to Taguig. After losing my brother and my dad, she stepped in and became our guardian at home, the motherly figure we were all craving. My cousins and I, we never really got the chance to spoil our moms back then; we were young and just starting out. Now that we can finally afford it, even just a little, we make it a point to take her out on weekends and buy her food and little things. We even flew to Boracay last year (our first trip together), and I was genuinely happy.

On Mother’s Day, I got her a cake. We had plans to visit Bicol this year so she could introduce us to our relatives. There were so many plans ahead of us.

Whenever I finished work in the morning, she’d already be at the kitchen table, asking me to join her for coffee. She knew I didn’t even drink coffee, but she’d still ask anyway. When I once got rushed to the ER and sent home the same day, she kept checking on me, just to make sure I was still alive in my bed, lol. It was such a small, cute gesture, but it meant so much to me. Every time I went to the grocery store, I’d ask her what she wanted or needed, and somehow that became our routine. When I came home from a trip, I’d always ask if she wanted anything. I treated her the way I would’ve treated my own mother if she were still here.

She became the mom without ever trying to be. I loved how selfless she was. I could open up to her about anything, she never judged me, but she always stayed logical. She would often talk to us about death arrangements, and I never saw it as a premonition. Talking about these things should be normalized; she was simply being realistic. After losing so many people in our lives, it only felt right to have conversations like that.

She would often complain about her back hurting and her arms going numb, and whenever I had time, I’d give her a quick massage. But around November last year, she told us she planned to get herself checked because she was constantly feeling tired. Little did we know, that was the beginning of something far more serious.

After countless lab tests and a CT scan, we found out she had breast cancer and that it had already spread to her liver. She wasn’t just battling one cancer, but two. We sat down together and cried. I kept asking God why it had to be her, of all people. It felt unbearably unfair. She didn’t deserve this  😢 

From then on, everything happened so fast. She stopped coming down to the kitchen and would mostly stay in her room; just climbing the stairs would tire her out. Her meals were delivered to her, and my other tita (her younger sister) and I took turns caring for her in shifts.

By December, I was debating whether to go ahead with my party given everything that was happening, but my tita told me to just go. She felt bad because she couldn’t attend; she really wanted to be there. 😢 By this time, her stomach had swollen like a pregnant woman's, a complication caused by the cancer in her liver. She needed help just to go to the bathroom, eat, and drink. The change was drastic; she had grown so frail and thin. It pains me to see her in that state. 

On the morning of December 24th, after my shift ended, she asked if I was done working. I told her yes, and she said she wanted to go to the hospital because of the severe pain in her stomach. My cousin and I rushed her to the ER, where she stayed until night. Eventually, she was sent home after the pain subsided. It was a scare for the whole family; we really thought we’d be spending Christmas in the ER. She improved a little, but we all knew it wouldn’t last. Just over the weekend, her condition worsened. She would sleep for around 15 hours a day, partly because of her medication and partly because of the cancer.

One time, while I was working and looking after her, she faintly called my name and asked me to adjust her position. I stood up from my station to help her. As I held her, she apologized, saying how much of a burden she had become while I worked. I told her not to think about it, but I couldn’t help crying afterward. With so little energy left, she still managed to speak and apologize. It was truly heartbreaking. 

We had another scare on the night of December 31st and rushed her to the ER because of the pain. When the doctors saw her condition, they decided to send her home so she could be with us for New Year’s. They ran a few tests, but it was clear they were mostly following hospital protocol. I wasn’t there while she was hospitalized, but my cousin told me how the doctors had looked at her, there was just no hope in their eyes.

We celebrated New Year with nothing but hope that some miracle would happen and she might get better. During my shifts with her, she would ask me to help her sit up, and I’d give her a brief back massage to ease the pain. I remember just silently crying while I did it. I knew the end was coming. She had gotten so thin I could trace her bones. We eventually had to put her in a diaper, but whenever she needed to pee, she insisted on standing, as she didn't want to stain the mattress. She remained graceful despite her condition. 

Her birthday was coming up on January 10th, and she knew it. One day, she suddenly blurted out, “Happy Birthday to me.” We all looked at her and told her it was only the 3rd. She smiled and said she thought it was already her birthday. She was probably getting a bit disoriented, she always used to say the 6th was her birthday. We told her she needed to stay strong so we could celebrate properly on the 10th.

It was January 4th, when my other Tita and I realized she hadn't been conscious. We tried waking her up a couple of times but she seemed to be in such a deep sleep. At around 4am, she started breathing heavily, and we were surprised to find out she had peed and soiled her diaper. That's when we knew. Could be anytime now. 

After cleaning her up, I sat beside her and spoke from the heart. I told her it was okay to let go, thanked her, and told her how much we loved her. I heard that they could still hear us, so I wanted to make sure that she knew we were beside her in her final moments. I saw a tear roll down her face, and it made me bawl my eyes out. She could still hear me! I was a bit hopeful seeing how she responded, but I'd be lying to myself if I kept pretending that she was going to be okay when it's obviously the opposite. 

Around 6 a.m., I was still on my shift, looking after her, when I heard a noise; it sounded almost like a snore. I looked at her and saw her eyes roll briefly. Then her chest slowly stopped moving.

That was her last breath. 

I froze, struck by shock. For a moment, I didn't know what to do or how to react. I woke up my other aunt, cousins. We checked her BP, but the machine kept giving an error. We called an ambulance. They managed to detect a faint heartbeat, but she was later pronounced dead.

I’m not the most religious person, but I believe in God. Still, I question Him about what He’s done to my life. Taking my mom, my dad, my brother, and now her. It’s hard to believe that all of this is part of some divine plan.

I miss her terribly.

I miss her singing and her cooking

I miss how she couldn’t hold back her laugh in serious situations. 

or how she’d start a joke and then completely lose herself in laughter and couldn't finish her story. 

You will always be remembered. 

Forever in our hearts, 

Hi kids, future dad of my kids, and whoever cares enough to waste a couple of minutes of their time.

Hi, hello! How's your New Year?

If you want to read my 2024 wrap it's here

We're only a couple of days into 2026, and I'm already (kids, cover your eyes) FUCKED

So to everyone claiming “2026 is my year”, sainyo na.

I'm not even gonna make agaw coz jusko my life is already falling apart. 

But that's a story for another day. 

Today, we’re celebrating the highlights of my 2025. 

And honestly? Saying I’m grateful is such an understatement. 

There’s just so much to be thankful for!

Let's break down the highlights, shall we?

1.) Secret Recipe (One Ayala)

2.) Tim Ho Wan (One Ayala)

3.) Kabsat (La Union)

4.) Nuq Dining & Villas (La Union)

5.) Fat Fook (Glorietta)

6.) Lartizan (BGC)

7.) Spotted Pig (Makati)

8.) Tattooed Baker (Makati)

9.) Haka Ton-ichi (Glorietta)

10.) WildFlour (BGC)

11.) Honoulu Cafe (SM Aura)

12.) Sensi (Boracay)

13.) Saboria (Boracay)

14.) Charlie's Seafood & Grill (Boracay)

15.) Red Coconut (Boracay)

16.) Jasper's (Boracay)

17.) Muni-Muni (Boracay)

18.) Aria (Boracay)

19.) Reyes Barbeue (MOA)

20.) Jones All Day (BGC)

21.) Sunnies Cafe (BGC)

22.) Denny's (Uptown)

23.) Texas Roadhouse (Glorietta)

24.) Pizzulu (Forbes Town)

25.) Elephant Grounds (One Bonifacio)

26.) Nanbantei of Tokyo (BGC)

27.) Good Neighbor (Verve One

28.) Ola (Zambales)

29.) Taco Joint (Zambales)

30.) New Liwa (Zambales)

31.) Pyramid (Bohol)

32.) Mosa (Bohol)

33.) Bugnaw Si-E (Bohol)

34.) Pizza Express (Uptown)

35.) Balinsasayaw Restaurant (Palawan)

36.) McCoy's Pizza House (Palawan)

37.) Badjao Seafront Restaurant (Palawan)

38.) Hibiscus Garde Resort (Palawan) 

39.) La Creperie (Newport)

40.) Bayfront Restobar (Siquijor)

41.) George & Onnies (Ayala)

42.) Goto Believe (BGC)

43.) Tamoya Udon (Taguig)

Went to 17 new cafes

I swore I tried other drinks, not just matcha! Last year was a whopping total of 26 cafes so this is such a huge difference! I  may have reached my "masarap di masyado matamis era."

1.) Zus Cafe (Makati)

2.) Harlan + Holden Coffee (Uptown)

3.) The District (Boracay)

4.) Season Coffee (Boracay)

5.) Calme Cafe (Boracay)

6.) Randy's Donuts (Uptown)

7.) Agos ng Liwa (Zambales)

8.) Masa Madre (11th Ave)

9.) Itoy's Coffee Haus (Palawan)

10.) Coffee Scape (Pasig)

11.) BuCafe (Siquijor)

12.) Aperitif (Forbes Town)

13.) Sulyap Cafe (Laguna)

14.) Cafe Moo (Laguna)

15.) Just Drink Coffee (Taguig)

16.) Auro Chocolate Cafe (27th St)

17.) Sip n' Brew (Tagaytay)

Partied at 9 bars AND ENJOYED EVERY BIT OF IT

Did I black out and passed out? (Absolutely) No telling

1.) Flotsam & Jetsam (La Union)

2.) Summer Place (Boracay)

3.) OM Bar (Boracay)

4.) Matchpoint Sports Bar (Mandaluyong)

5.) JJ's Backpacker Village (Siquijor)

6.) Lekwed (Siquijor)

7.) Tipsy Bar (Siquijor)

8.) Reserve Ph (Forbes Town)

9.) La Piscina (Makati)

Visited 7 Places 

1.) La Union (San Juan)

2.) Zambales (Liwliwa)

3.) Boracay (Caticlan) with family

with friends

4.) Bohol (Panglao, Guindulman, Anda)

5.) Palawan (Puerto Princesa)

6.) Siquijor (San Juan)

7.) Dumaguete (Valencia)

Staycation

We watched 18 movies!

16 Crime Documentaries

5 Anime Series

Our YouTube 2025 Wrapped

No surprises at all. Taylor is still number one. I swear she’s been there forever, or at least since these year-end wrap things started. Obviosly, "The Fate of Ophelia" is high-key my love life anthem, lol.

Sabrina’s still at number two because I love her pettiness and her flirty-ass songs. Laufey is for when I’m feeling a little jazzy with some pop mixed in. Chappell Roan is for girl power, feminine chaos vibes. And Ariana is new on the list because I was listening hard to her new album lowkey therapeutic!

Spotify Wrapped is pretty similar. However, I was surprised for the top song lololol 

That song “Dick” is such a good running song. It’s literally my go-to right before I hit start on Strava. I didn’t even realize I played that shit that many times, 

but Spotify really said, “Yep, this is your top song.”... okay ma'am.

Jannabi made it on the list once again because this girl needs her K-indie phase every now and then. Honestly, I listen to them because they make hella sad songs.

The fuck is wrong with my listening age though!!! Can't a woman in her 30s like The Beatles, and Queen???? 

Since we kicked off our running era this year, we aso got a year-end wrapped on Strava too!

Total distance is 419K!!!!!!! that's craazy! 

Hoepfully, we can improve our stats this year! 

2025 was just the right amount of happy and sad. One thing I can say though, it was the most ADVENTUROUS year yet.

2026 started way way off already, maybe 2027 will be my year fr. 

I do not have any expectations for this year, I will just go with the vibe and take everything with a grain of salt I read on the news though that Sagittarius will be one of the luckiest signs... Just surprise me because I'm sooo done expecting for things to be right only to be brokenhearted in the end. 

I'm leaving 2025 with a grateful heart. 

To the ones who made me happy and kilig - thanks, love

To the ones who gave me trauma - fuck y'all go to therapy.

 To all the new experiences, I've enjoyed every bit of it. 

To my friends and family - wishing y'all good health 

To my future husband - can't bend me over when im 40 tf

To my kids - guess we'll just have to try in 2027

Here’s to more adventures, love, and everything in between.