Why Are You Single ?

I can't let this month pass without blogging about this love month. I've been listing down all the reasons why some people can't seem to find their match. I also did a bit of research on this topic, and here are the possible factors I've come up with!

1. 1.) High Standards - Many of us wish for that tall, dark, and handsome guy—the popular, athletic, and attractive one. But get a grip! You can’t find a man who can play guitar, sing, dance, cook, act, and even do the laundry all at once! Be realistic; nobody is perfect, and everyone has their flaws. We all have an ideal type, but don’t set your standards so high that they scare away potential suitors. Lower your expectations a bit. If someone doesn’t meet your ideal criteria, at least give them a chance and get to know them first. You might discover qualities you didn’t expect. Remember, everyone is unique in their own way! And don’t rely too heavily on physical appearance—sometimes it’s hard to trust someone who looks too good to be true!

2.) Pain of the Past - We all have that one relationship we can’t forget, no matter how hard we try. The pain from that relationship can be so intense that it destroys a person’s emotions, leaving them stuck in the past. When you've been hurt before, it’s really hard to open yourself up to someone new because the fear of being hurt again always lingers. It can be a traumatic experience that makes you hesitant to start over. You might think, “all guys are the same,” which makes it even harder to move on and find someone new. But keep in mind that not all guys are the same. There are still men out there who will accept and love you for who you are. Don’t let past pain ruin your heart. Try to be more positive and move on. There are so many amazing things life has in store for you!

3.) Destiny/Fairytale Believers - Count me in because I’m an absolute believer in destiny! Haha

Some people avoid relationships because they’re waiting for their prince charming or soulmate. But here’s the thing: how long are you willing to wait? I’m not saying you should jump into a relationship out of impatience. What I mean is, you can’t always find someone who will be your perfect prince charming or soulmate. Maybe you can (what a contradiction, lol), but it often takes a lot of pain and multiple relationships before you find the right one. Don’t expect to see your prince charming riding in on a white horse! Be realistic; maybe what you’re looking for is right beside you. Or if not, yeah, just wait for the right time and the right person.

 

4. Busybody - Maybe you’re too busy with other things that you’ve forgotten about your love life? If you’re preoccupied with something you love, it’s natural that you might not find a match. But don’t you get lonely at times? At the end of a busy day, lonely thoughts can creep in. While staying busy and making your time worthwhile is important, being alone can lead to feelings piling up in your mind. Don’t you miss being loved and cared for? Try meeting new people during your spare time!  On the other hand, if you’re really serious about what’s keeping you busy and have no plans of being in a relationship, then that's perfectly fine. Follow your path and let things be the way they are.

5.)  Lack of Confidence- Every woman has her own insecurities, whether about herself or in comparison to other girls. If you lack self-confidence, your chances of being in a relationship will decrease. Remember, you have to trust and believe in yourself. No guy will love a girl who doesn’t feel good about herself; they might think you’ll talk badly about yourself or other girls because of those insecurities.

Be confident! How can you love others if you don’t love yourself? Loving yourself first is the best thing you can do. Be proud of who you are! If some guys don’t like you, let them be. There are plenty of guys out there who will love and accept you for who you are. Plus, who doesn’t love a confident girl? Confidence is sexy!

6.) Thirsty Means Desperate - Desperation in finding a man can often lead to settling for less than you deserve. Stay classy and avoid appearing desperate, as this can lead to being treated poorly and disrespected by some men. Unfortunately, when women act trashy and inappropriate, it can negatively impact how all women are perceived.

7.) Comparing Every Person to your Ex-  If you keep comparing every person you meet to your ex, it’s likely why nobody wants to be with you. Remember that everyone is different, so stop making these comparisons! Move on—your ex isn’t coming back, and you should always remember the reasons why they’re your ex. Whether it was something wrong with them or with your relationship, it’s in the past.

Don’t judge your suitor based on whether they don’t have shiny hair, blue eyes, or the same material possessions as your ex. This will probably drive them away. Don’t ask them to change just because they don’t meet your previous standards. Learn to see the good in everyone and appreciate them for who they are

8.) Collect-Collect-Select- If you have the “collect and collect then select” mindset, you're likely to stay single. This approach is problematic. Don’t treat people like options or toys to be discarded once you find what you’re looking for. Imagine if you were in their place—would you be happy if someone treated you that way?

If you can’t commit to one person, it’s better to stay single than to have a bunch of people around you while struggling to choose the right one. You might miss out on something special while focusing on the options. Consider the feelings of those you interact with; don’t be selfish. If you give off the impression of being a player, don’t be surprised if no one shows interest in courting you.

9.) Expand Your Territory - The more people you know, the higher your chances of finding love. If you’re just a homebody waiting for a miracle, nothing is likely to happen. You need to get out there. If a friend invites you to a group date, a birthday party, or a wedding, go ahead and accept the invitation!

If you’re not into parties or celebrations, try joining an organization that aligns with your interests. For instance, if you love swimming, join a swim club. If you’re a bookworm, spend time in a library or a book club. There are countless ways to meet new people; you just need to step out of your comfort zone and have enough self-confidence.

10)   Enjoyment of Staying Single- This point is perhaps the opposite of everything else on this list. While many are focused on finding love, some people genuinely enjoy being single and find it exciting! Think about the positive aspects of being single compared to being in a relationship. Freedom is a significant advantage for singles; having the liberty to make your own decisions without compromise is amazing, right? You can do whatever you want, go wherever you please, attend numerous parties, and meet new people.

There are plenty of reasons why some people prefer staying single despite having suitors and facing peer pressure. Being single allows you to develop independence without relying on someone else and gives you the chance to focus on self-improvement. Embracing this time can be enriching and empowering, allowing you to grow and enjoy life on your own terms

Before I wrap this up, I want to remind you that these insights are based on my research and personal experience. I hope this list proves helpful. If you find yourself fitting into any of these categories, it might be time for a little change. But remember, don’t rush into a relationship just because you’re feeling lonely. Building a strong relationship takes trust, understanding, love, and yes, even some pain. There’s no such thing as a perfect couple; every relationship has its flaws, but some people simply find ways to deal with and accept them.

You’re probably single because if you weren’t, you wouldn’t be here reading this list, right? Don’t feel down just because your friends are in relationships. Look at it positively—maybe some of those in relationships wish they had the freedom you do! You never know. Just wait for the right time; if it’s meant to be, it will be. Let love find you when the time is right. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Grace~♥