Once Upon A Broken Heart

To think that I just got married last July 18 and I'm already divorced 7 days later ! HAHAHA ! kidding ! no marriage was held, it was just my antic. My crazy antic.

Please prepare yourself as well as your scroll bars coz' this will be a one heck of a dramatic post. I'm gonna put out all my feelings that has been piling up for the past few weeks, my 100% honest and true emotions. If you're not ready for some major drama please close this tab right now.  Don't regret and complain you've been warned ! 

I'm not fine.

I just had my heart broken. Of course I won't be fine.

That night when you told me you want to see me and talk about something, I already got the idea. I already knew what was gonna happen that's why I told you I don't wanna see you anymore because it will be harder for me to let you go. I have a lot of unanswered questions but I didn't bother asking because I felt like it's really something that has been decided a long time ago. What's making me sad is because you make me feel like I'm easy to let go, like I'm nothing important, like we never happened. I'm starting to wonder why people can leave me so easily. Am I that easy to forget ?

and your reason was? Oh yeah I remember and I respect it but I mean, you could've come up with something more valid. 

Did you cry ? Coz I feel like I'm the only one hurting, no I mean I'm the only one loving. I feel like some days you really like me and other days, we don't even talk. I feel like I'm waiting for you to fall head over heels for me, and it's not going to happen :(

To be honest, I've been crying myself to sleep :( Thinking about us and what we can be. I knew it was my fault. It's my fault for loving you. 

So in the end, we didn't reached our 200th, 500th and 1000th Day. Honestly, I was expecting this, I just didn't know it would be this soon. I thought we can somehow work things out in time, but I guess it's just my wishful thinking. I was the only one loving aren't I ? If I could erase the memories, I would in a heartbeat. It'd be so much easier to move on. Forget you. Like you forgot me.

Of course I'm gonna be bitter about this. You don't expect someone to be happy when you just broke their heart right ? I'm not trying to ruin your image by saying these things nor to make you feel guilty. This is the broken hearted girl speaking. You shook me up, made me head over heels in love with you then left. What do you want me to feel ?

Sorry for being immature and rude for posting something as personal as this but can you blame me ? Voicing out these thoughts really make me feel less hurt.

This is not a call for help. I ain't here blogging about this to beg you to come back. No. What's done is done and let the bygones be bygones. I'm truly aware of what I am to you now, no need to display it. Just keep in mind, I didn't give up, you did. Was that whole relationship pointless for you ? I wish I can act cool, happy or in love with someone else like you, but I can't. You see, I'm hurt. You could've just acted like you're in pain to compensate with me, at least that would make me feel like you really did appreciate me.

Sorry for all the troubles that I've caused you. I won't be a bother anymore.

I'm not happy but I hope you are.

~►Grace