A Letter To My Late Dog :(

This letter is dedicated to my late dog, Billy.

Hello baby!

How are you up there ? 

Me and our fam is missing you so so so much. :(

I hope you're happy now. 

I hope you're healthy now and free from any disease.

I'm sorry for being incapable of taking care of you.

You lived a couple of floors away from us so we don't see that much often.

and I do regret not paying you a visit. 

To be honest, it's still breaking my heart. </3

Boy it's been a month since you were gone and I thought I've already moved on.

I blame myself for not paying you a visit even after knowing you're getting weaker by the day.

You're the very first dog that I called mine.

Eight years with us, damn. 

How I wish can turn back the time and be by your side :'(

I'm a useless owner.

I cared but didn't do anything.

This is the bad side of being a pet lover, when they die, a half of your soul dies with them.

I'm writing this a month after because I thought I can do this entry without being so emotional yet,

here I am, pouring out my tears like there's no tomorrow. 

You have the right to get mad at me. 

But know that I loved you with all of my heart.

You were such a sweetheart.

I remember that one time I forgot my keys and forcefully opened the windows, only to see you

charmingly tilting your head and giving me a confused look.

I can no longer hug my fluffy bear again :(

Bath time is crazy too! You really don't like waters and I always end up wet too.

Then you would stick your body against the couch to dry yourself.

The cute compliments you got whenever I take you out for a short walk. :(

I'm sorry for not being able to see you for the very last time. 

My dad kept it a secret from me. 

I was clueless about your death until the next day.

Be it on purpose or not, I was hurt.

I couldn't just take it seeing you lifeless before my very eyes.

But still, I really wanna see atleast a glimpse of you before you were buried.

You died without us knowing what really happened.

Were you sick ? What kind of disease did you got ?

Or was it because of your old age?

We're clueless.

I'm such a loser.

I'm financially incapable.

That alone plays a huge part.

I'm on the verge of giving up on having pets.

I'm almost close to quitting. I lost Neko before and now you.

if it wasn't for Haru, I probably have done it.

I can't guarantee my pets a nice life that they deserve.

I can't just let go. I'm not prepared.

I'm physically hurt, my heart is physically aching right now. :(((( 

I'm sorry for everything Billy.

That's all I can say, and I won't get tired of saying sorry to you boy.

You have lived your eight years life with us. Thank you for giving me and my family happiness. 

I love you so much and I miss you.

But maybe it's time for you to go. 

Maybe God has a better plan for you.

Maybe God personally chose you as HIS pet because you've been a very good dog.

Maybe HE fancies furry dogs like you.

Maybe you are beside HIM right now.

You have lived your eight years life with us. Thank you for giving me and my family happiness. 

I love you so much and I miss you. 

You will never be forgotten.

I'll see you soon boy.

Billy

October 9, 2007- March 26, 2016

Grace~♥